It has been a year and a half since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had just started my second semester of medical school when I gradually entered into a hypomanic state that then progressed into a manic episode. Anyway, that’s not the point of this blog. I always say to myself that I have a mood disorder, of which bipolar actually is, and that although I might be ‘crazy’, I am still intelligent and not stupid…
I am now back in medical school after taking a couple of months off to get my medications straightened out and I can say I am doing well in my studies again. I have passed all of my exams since coming back to school and this has been very reassuring since I was afraid that the brain that had turned against me last year would not be able to function as well within the rigors of medical school. I guess this is a fear that most people with mental illness have, or at least that is what I have noticed with some of the blogs or stories out there of people who ended up dropping out of school because of these issues. I suppose my success so far may suggest that I have recovered, or that I might be a high functioning person with bipolar disorder.
However, I tend to see myself through the lens of what this illness is: there are periods of normalcy punctuated with periods of either mania or depression. I can’t say I have much experience with major depression although there are times when I feel low and less motivated and want to sleep, but after sleeping I can wake up and get my work done. I have learned to nip the mania before it gets out of hand by popping a couple of antipsychotics and ensuring I sleep roughly for seven hours a night and not pulling all-nighters as some of classmates do. I hope this blog will be a way for me to share my experiences being a student at a medical school in the Midwest while battling the bipolar monster. Please feel free to post questions or comments…
Bipolar in Medical School 
this is very inspiring! Keep up the good work!
Thanks Amy!
Congrats for putting up this blog! Writing is a great therapeutic way to cope with the illness. As well, thanks for sharing your experience. I am myself considering medical school even though I am bipolar. I thought my illness would hold me back, but reading your studies put my mind at ease.
Hi edennefournier! Thanks for your kind comment. Since being diagnosed with this condition I have been thinking about what is possible and was isn’t. However, sometimes we just have to follow our passions and try to live our lives to the fullest, whatever that means to us. For me that means being stable and following my dream to become a doctor. Even though med school is not the easiest of things to do, it is very rewarding in terms of the knowledge and experience. I should let you know what my p-doc told me: bipolar is really a mood disorder and not a defect in your intelligence :). We just have to keep the monster at bay though…
Thanks Benjy. 🙂
Since you took a hiatus for a couple months, did you have to come clean about what was going on? In other words, does ur administration/dean of students know what is going on? If not, are you at all worried about maintaining anonymity while still blogging about what is going on with you. Funny story… I started a blog (quite similar to yours) when I was feeling a little lofty about a month or two ago. Took it down and totally deleted everything associated with it within two days. Hope you have better luck.
Hi Thor12, I thought a lot about whether I wanted to do this or not and also consulted my therapist and psychiatrist. For me the entire administration knows about my case (I don’t think there is a way I could have hidden it), but they have been very supportive. I doubt I would have recovered had it not been for their belief in me…Of course I use a pseudonym and will be as HIPPA compliant as can be. I believe not doing so would be irresponsible and if you are in the medical field you know exactly what I mean…
I’m really happy to hear that they have been supportive. And yes, I know what you mean. However, not sure HIPPA would mind all that much if u wanted to divulge more of your own medical history than would maybe be wise. But pseudonym’s go a long way to protecting your identity, as long as no one has way too much time on their hands, and a strange desire to figure out who you are. Glad you are using one. Will definitely follow your posts from time to time (in spirit and thru google, not thru FB… lol).
Thanks, lol!